Sunday, September 7, 2008

Haha, look at this rube!

.
Steph?

More like Pretentious-idealisteph!

"It's true that supressing [sic] hormonal urges is not very healthy, but that doesn't mean that we should let ourselves free. How would someone feel if his/her spouse tells him/her that he/she is not the first one? It's true that love overcomes all issues, including issues on chastity, but won't it be still in your mind? Let's face it, we are all humans, a complete "forgive and forget" is near imposible [sic]. Why go through all that trouble when you can exercise a bit of self-control now and make that someone feel special."

To para-phrase:

OH, DRAT! I WANT TO DIVORCE!

HOW DARE YOU EVER HAVE LOVED SOMEONE OR DONE ANYTHING TO MAKE YOUR BRIEF, MISERABLE EXISTENCE ENJOYABLE BEFORE YOU MET ME?! WHY COULDN'T YOU HAVE EXERCISED A BIT OF SELF-CONTROL TO PRECLUDE MY THEORETICAL DISAPPOINTMENT AT YOUR DISGUSTING HORMONAL URGES (UNLESS THEY ARE FOR ME) AND TO MAKE ME FEEL SPECIAL LIKE THE UNIQUELY BEAUTIFUL SNOW-FLAKE THAT I AM?! YOU NEEDED TO DO THAT, Y'KNOW, BACK WHEN YOU DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING KNOW THAT I EXIST! HAVEN'T YOU ALWAYS BEEN AWARE THAT YOUR PENIS FITS PERFECTLY INTO MY VAGINA, BECAUSE I AM THE ONLY PERSON IN THE UNIVERSE WHO WILL EVER MAKE YOU HAPPY?!

WHY AREN'T YOU FUCKING PSYCHIC?!

FEEL GUILTY!!!!!

You said it yourStelph, "we are all humans." Guess what a human is; I will tell you that it is an animal! You are an animal with a brain that is verily too big for its own good, because it allows you to entertain the pompous conceit that you are something more significant than a consuming/copulating/defecating beast!

However!, I respect your decision not to jump the uterine shark (so to speak! I say!) and contribute to the lamentable proliferation of the war-machine!

O Steph, I just realized that your blog post is over two years old! Well, aren't I exhuming a dead horse to recommence flogging it forthwith (Good show!)! HAHAHA...!

I am fatigued! Good-nacht!

<3,
Rrrd.

1 comment:

Austin said...

Jesus Christ, where has Steph been my whole life? I want my girlfriend to be psychic TOO!